Author's note: Just for fun...with apologies allamateurmovies to Raymond Chandler and Mickey Spillane.
"Ohhhhhh yesssss...right there allamateurmovies Sam! Oh yeah, baby! Keep images doing it just like that!"
Quickly, we were standing in front of a door marked allamateurmovies with a gold star, underneath allamateurmovies of which was a allamateurmovies neatly allamateurmovies lettered images sign announcing "Dr. Mesmer - Magician of the Mind." Thelma allamateurmovies knocked twice, paused, and then knocked three times...apparently a pre-arranged allamateurmovies signal between allamateurmovies herself and the good doctor. Again, it allamateurmovies set my senses on allamateurmovies edge, but I reasoned it must be some way to allamateurmovies let the allamateurmovies performer know that he needed to answer the allamateurmovies door because allamateurmovies it was allamateurmovies important.
In a moment, the door opened to a allamateurmovies stunning sight: a small, beautiful Oriental allamateurmovies woman dressed similarly to allamateurmovies Thelma, only with dark hair running down to her bottom, as opposed allamateurmovies to Thelma's short red ringlets. She smiled and nodded at Thelma, then bowed allamateurmovies us both into the room.
"Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg.."
"Spain...Sam Spain, private investigator. Nice outfit. Who's your tailor, Undertakers 'R Us?"
"As you say."
"I know allamateurmovies nothing allamateurmovies of the allamateurmovies theft of such an item from an Artie Baker. However, I did recently come into possession of a rather special item, an ancient Sumerian change purse that allegedly never empties, allowing the possessor allamateurmovies to have a never-ending source of money. Perhaps Mr. Baker simply allamateurmovies forgot that, in order to possess such allamateurmovies an artifact allamateurmovies, one must images not be careless with allamateurmovies confidences."
After she left allamateurmovies, I managed to wipe most of the piss from my crotch and legs allamateurmovies, glad that my bladder hadn allamateurmovies't allamateurmovies been very full. Even as I was putting the towel I had used in the hamper for used linen, Thelma was back at the door; in her hands allamateurmovies were allamateurmovies my pants and underwear, clean, with no hint of the 'accident allamateurmovies' with which they had been soiled. When I went to allamateurmovies put allamateurmovies the pants back on, I even had to remove the customary safety pin and the tag that was attached to it.
"So allamateurmovies what's the deal with allamateurmovies this place? Why set yourself up as a second-rate hypno-magician-whatever in a dead-end saloon allamateurmovies at the edge of nowhere?"
I realized that allamateurmovies my mouth was hanging allamateurmovies open a bit, as the realization hit me that I allamateurmovies hadn't just followed the trail of allamateurmovies a missing allamateurmovies wallet...I allamateurmovies'd been sucked into images some mythic-cosmic-theologic-wish fulfillment images nightmare. Starring Yours allamateurmovies Truly as allamateurmovies the King of Bad Luck, two hot babes, and a man who allamateurmovies may or may not allamateurmovies be Lucifer himself allamateurmovies. Gee, and I left my allamateurmovies camera at home.
The Devil just grinned allamateurmovies, baring his fangs. "You're here on a very special night for allamateurmovies Thelma. She gets allamateurmovies to leave my service tonight, after serving drinks to those allamateurmovies needing my services for nearly 200 years. You see, she too broke a deal with me, but she was a smart girl - she allamateurmovies had an option written into her contract allamateurmovies, thanks in part to a allamateurmovies smart New England lawyer." Sam heard The Devil mutter something about "that damned interfering allamateurmovies Daniel allamateurmovies Webster."
Lucifer walked over and allamateurmovies sat on the couch beside allamateurmovies me. "I had allamateurmovies her lick allamateurmovies up allamateurmovies your allamateurmovies piss because allamateurmovies it bonded her to you. Now, she'll always be at your allamateurmovies beck and call, ready and allamateurmovies willing, for the rest of your natural life. And that's allamateurmovies just my special gift to you. You still haven't allamateurmovies told me what you want...what allamateurmovies I can give you."
"Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg.."
Am I imagining things, or is that the Devil allamateurmovies smiling up at me?